Sentence Combining
Practice Exercise A
Combine each set of short, choppy sentences into one sentence.
I am tired.
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Jet fatigue paralyzes some passengers.
Long non-stop flights cause jet fatigue.
5. Fred received no newspaper today.
Yesterday Fred’s paper arrived soaking wet. Fred is disgusted with the carrier.
Practice Exercise B
Combine each set of sentences to (1) coordinate parts that are equally important and to
(2) show explicitly how each part is related to the others. (Reminder: Coordinating conjunctions include and, or, nor, for, but, so, yet, either/or, and neither/nor.)
Example: 1. Alexander dislikes scallops.
4. Sentence combining is useful.
It produces variety.
It adds maturity.
It also gives emphasis where needed.
cause because, in order that, so that
contrast although, while
condition if, unless, since, as long as
Practice Exercise D
Combine each pair of sentences to emphasize or highlight the most important thought. Subordinate whatever is less important.
Example: 1. Leslie and Mary refuse to budget.
They feel that budgets are useful only for others.
6. George got his message across.
The thought really flowed from paragraph to paragraph.
7. Morale is low at the office. Spirits at home are high.
13. The number of widows might decrease.
Older women are now marrying younger men.
14. The mountain climber wept.
He abandoned all hope of reaching the peak.
15. The bridge is to be built next spring.
Without federal support, work cannot begin.
Parallelism occurs as you arrange your writing in balanced, recurring patterns. This energyproducing technique builds rhythm and sets up in your reader an expectation to be fulfilled. Parallelism appeals to your reader’s sense of order. Its effect can be swift and punchy, deliberate and thoughtful, or formal and elegant, depending on the parallelism you construct.
Mismatched parallelism, which you want to avoid, happens when you develop a sequence with parts that are grammatically different. Check to see, for instance, that in a series of words referring to things you have not included a verb form. Parallel parts must match one another grammatically.
NOTE: AVOID OVERUSE OF PARALLELISM AND WATCH OUT FOR MISMATCHED
PARALLELISMS.
WRONG: The choir needs funds for robes, hymnals, and to go to the music conference.
RIGHT: The choir needs funds to buy robes, to rent hymnals, and to travel to the music conference.
or
The choir needs funds for robes, hymnals, and the trip to the music conference.
Practice Exercise E
Transform each group of sentences into a single sentence with parallel elements.
Example: 1. The beach in Shorewood should be closed.
It is scattered with debris.
could not agree on a time for the meeting. We also disagreed on where we should meet.
6. A solitary walk can help you learn about nature.
Walking alone teaches you to know yourself, too.
Practice Exercise F
Rewrite each group of sentences into a single sentence that uses balance and repetition.
Example: 1.
I don’t avoid smoking because I dislike cigarettes.
I refuse to smoke because advertisers keep telling me how great cigarettes are and that I
5. She realized the importance of establishing herself in a career.
She knew the reality of dwindling opportunities in the field of marketing.
She felt it was time to get started in work if she were ever to have a marketing career.
6. To confuse silence with agreement can lead to misunderstanding.
A person remaining silent may be registering agreement.
A person may, in keeping silent, simply be avoiding confrontation.
Remember that an opinion is not a private fancy; it is an opinion of what the right is, of what the truth is, of what the facts mean. It is a judgment of what is out there somewhere, not merely in somebody’s head. An opinion, when careful and informed, is usually as close as you will get to truth: a statement of what the truth of the matter seems to be. Your opinion may be just as accurate as anybody’s, and the major task of the research paper is to sift opinions.
–Source: Sheridan Baker, The Complete Stylist, Thomas Y. Crowell Co., New York, 1966, p. 219.
The power of your writing depends not only on thought flow and sentence style but also on the very words you select. In this part of the Completing Stage, you can pack power and punch into a paper by checking to see that the words you are using are specific, concrete, and exact.
1. Replace vague, general terms with specific, concrete words that paint pictures and create sensory images for your reader.
2. Cut out every word you don’t absolutely need.
Practice Exercise I
Rewrite the following sentences to make them more concise.
Example: 1. Because of the fact that I shall have to return back to my home state where I lived originally, I shall resign at this point in time from this
5. I repeat again that this here family group has a large number of bills to pay and the aged old parents are not employed in jobs.
6. My recommendation is that it is a good idea for you to purchase a replica map of the campus before your first visit initially.
7. To all who so generously gave and donated their time, we express our thanks and gratitude for helping to make the Mitchell Mall so good to look at and beautiful.
4. My chiffon cake turned out flat.
5. Annoyed and angry, the shopper walked to the manager’s office and talked to him.
